OPINION: Language>Jargon Exorcist

In early September, 2017, I received a notice on my LinkedIn account that another member had viewed my profile. This isn’t unusual. What was unusual were all the letters and abbreviations after the person’s name. I couldn’t tell if she was a doctor, a law officer, a PhD, an astronaut or a life underwriter with certifications in reiki, cat grooming, DIY surgery and molecular cell bonding. So I clicked her profile to see who this many-lettered LinkedIn person was. You know who she was? A personal trainer. I think. I’m not sure because the description of her business was so muddled with jargon, I pulled three muscles, tore a rotator cuff and sprained my ankle trying to decipher it.

So I packed myself in ice to reduce the swelling, took to Advil, and wrote her a new one.

Hers, Before:

(REDACTED COMPANY NAME HERE), offers unique, integrated, holistic approaches to develop leaders and their circles for greater personal, professional and team performance and wellness. We work with leaders in organizations large and small seeking sustainable ways to achieve optimal results across personal and professional domains, we focus on executive assessment & coaching and team effectiveness & performance with a balanced, holistic approach to the entire client – mind, body and spirit.

Mine, After:

(REDACTED COMPANY NAME HERE), offers unique, professional coaching for employees of companies of all sizes, based on their mental, physical and team needs.

Summary:

Jargon sucks. Say what you mean.

*note to reader: this was not spell checked because I say so.